I’ve discussed the friend zone before. Is there a worse zone you can find yourself in? Yes there is. And until a better name comes to mind, I’ve dubbed it “The Possibility Zone”.
Before I continue, let me just do the “Don’t get your knickers in a knot” disclaimer. As a guy I’m going to write this from a male perspective. But as is most often the case, genders can be swapped about etc. etc. Both guys and girls find themselves on either side of this equation.
The Possibility Zone
The thing with the Friend zone is, more often than not, the girl who has “friend zoned” the guy is not aware of his affections towards her. She doesn’t know he wants to be with her. The possibility zone is a different animal all together.
Let’s look at the scenario: The girls has a number of suitors. All of them are open about their desires for her affection. She gives all of them attention and knows that each of them wants to be with her. And if she’s being decent, they all know there are other suitors as well. The suitors are all applying for her affection. They’re all investing for her interest. Each suitor of course hoping that she will turn around to them one day and say “Yes. You and me. Forever.” Here’s the rub. It’s most likely that she won’t.
You see, the problem is, this entire scenario is egotistical for her. It feels good to be desired by more than one person. What an ego boost! The second problem is, she doesn’t have to work for it. She need not expend any emotional effort. While the suitors are all vying, she sits back and basks in the attention. And because she is not making any emotional investment, she is not getting emotionally involved. With any of them.
There are 3 possible outcomes to the whole possibility zone scenario.
- The least likely outcome. One of the suitors manages to make an emotional impact. They say or do or whatever something that manages to light that emotional spark. If this happens she will probably quickly invest herself and that particular suitor gets their wish for her affections granted.
- The worst thing she can do. After some time of being courted by her suitors, our lady decides it’s time for her to enter into an actual relationship. Of course having a pool of suitors to choose from, it’s easy to do as she picks her ‘favorite’ suitor and starts a relationship with them. Of course, she still has not made any emotional investment nor worked towards the relationship. It is likely doomed to failure. You see, it’s not a relationship of the heart. It’s a relationship of convenience.
- The most likely thing to happen. One day, an outside party, one who’s not played any part in the Possibility Zone, enters into the fray and sweeps her off her feet. She falls head over heels for this outsider and the entire possibility zone falls to pieces. And all her suitors fall with it.
(Of course, there’s a mix between 2 and 3, where she wants to enter into a relationship and realizes that none of her suitors would suitably fulfill the role and disbands the zone completely to focus on finding someone)
At the end of the day, the absolute best case scenario is that all but one of her suitors will suffer disappointment. It’s most likely all of them will.
Beware the maybe!
You are serious about someone but find yourself in the possibility zone? Get out! Now. The likelihood of any suitor in any possibility zone scenario achieving the desired goal is near zero. It’s a situation that will almost certainly lead to heartbreak for you.
Don’t invest in someone who is not investing in you.