This has been something I think about often for years now. Love and Promise. Those words. And yes, I mean the words.
You see, for me, both of these words are the descriptors of two very deep, very important concepts. Which is why I don’t bandy them about. And also why, because of the depth of the concepts they describe for me, I’m not amused by how often and recklessly they’re being used everyday. Now, I don’t find words offensive. I swear like a sailor. Sure, there are words I don’t like, but that’s just my personal flavour.
At the same time though, I do think certain words should be used with great care. The actual meaning behind them should be taken into account before they’re used. And two of these words for me are Love and Promise. I think we’ve lost touch with their deeper meanings. When these words just get thrown out at every opportunity, ask yourself, what do you do when the right time actually comes.
If you say “I love this” and “I love that” all the time for varying things what happens the day you’re with that special someone and say to them you Love them. By the absurd amount of times the word “Love” gets used, saying “I love you” is almost meaningless. You love that song by that band. You love pasta salad. You love those shoes. What does saying you love me actually mean?
And how do you now, in that situation, with that person, tell them about the deep heartfelt earth-shaking Love you have for them? You really really really love them? Love, gentle reader, should not require bunch of really’s to describe it’s genuineness.
I know there are varying levels to enjoyment and liking of things. But Love. Love should stand on it’s own as a word. Because it needs to carry its true meaning.
Promise is a bit different for me. You see. I am a naughty fuck, and yes I have some very liberal views on some very contentious topics. But I still believe in honour. And a promise is honour-bound. A promise is not “I’ll try” or “I’ll do what I can”. A promise is “come hell or high water, I will do this”. Very nearly “death unto me for not fulfilling this”. Which is why you’ll likely never hear me say the words “I promise”. The last time I did say them was October 2015. And I can’t even recall the time before that.
Again it is a very deep important concept to me. But I’m hearing those two words, I promise, far too often in far too many standard conversations. A promise is not a guarantee. It’s not “I’ll do it or your money back”. No, it’s…well, a Promise.
Promise and Love together? The reason I’ll likely never get married.